i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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