WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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