i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
3 2 1 whiskey
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
