Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
