Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
