no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
