you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
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