normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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