my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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