I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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