i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Randomize
