i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
