'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
