Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize