he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
