Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
