omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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