she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
