what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
