her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
this just has baby written all over it
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He did a backflip because drugs
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