Hey man sorry I got all grabby
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
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he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
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Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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