I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
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The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
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Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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