do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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