You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
