dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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