And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
