when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
