Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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