I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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