I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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