How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
