I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
