he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
