I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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