she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
