But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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