Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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