Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(219): View more from Indiana

so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.

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(613): View more from Ontario

Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.

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(516): View more from New York

...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?

(585): View more from New York

hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that

(516): View more from New York

is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?

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(816): View more from Missouri

She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?

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(317): View more from Indiana

So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?

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(760): View more from California

It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.

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(970): View more from Colorado

No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.

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(310): View more from California

I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.

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