New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
