who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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