i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
