Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
