Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize