This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize