He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
