drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
