So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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