I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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