Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm way too hungover for life right now
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
