I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
