How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
