5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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