What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
