That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
