We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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