No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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