what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
