i don't plan on having that self control this summer
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
