your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I think my fart just growled at me.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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