Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
How's work?
Spinning.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
