she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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