maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
