i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
