Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
