My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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