Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
