im six kinds of drunk right now
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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