she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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