My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
My bed smells like the plague
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